Energy, tardiness, and the relationship of the two

(from Flickr by riotjane)

It is Friday. I have a test tomorrow, yet I cannot get myself to work. Never mind that I have a big test tomorrow, that I had to turn in a somewhat critical homework assignment for accounting class yet I could not, and that I have a six-page, single-spaced paper to write for Business and Law class that I have to type in a single letter for. I am tired, a constant phenomenon that refuses to let up until some 11 in the evening, continuing on until 2 or 3 in the morning, when I have a sudden loss of energy fueled by sudden urge to do work and compounded fatigue of many nights of uneven sleep schedule.

That is my usual day, and I am not proud of the fact. How many times have I fallen asleep in the twilight of the night, but a few minutes of the dawn that inevitably comes sooner than I would hope to encounter? I have lost countless days procrastinating, sometimes through napping and other times through coercion to do other things, by myself or others. I would count blogging among the list of things I have done instead of working, but it, too, is working—just not the “it will raise your grades and arguably improve your future outlook” kind. And, look—I am procrastinating even on blogging. It should not take two hours to write two paragraph of worthless crap.

Anyway.

I wanted to talk about lethargy. It has been with me since the beginning; I fell asleep in virtually every class I was in (and was penalized for that in one way or another, with varying teacher interventions), and it was probably a sight to behold—a sleeping kid, acing much of the tests, yet too tired or distracted to do some actual work unless it became a really pressing matter. What is the matter with that? Well, the problem is not when i am doing well, but when I am doing bad—bad habits die hard, and I find it very hard to change pace (or behavior) as I entered college and started struggling. Staying in the dormitory, while fun, did little to change my lifestyle; if anything, without oversight, I have worsened my habit, so much so that I have never shaken off my nocturnal lifestyle.

And that, in turn, makes matters worse, energy-wise. Working a part-time job in addition to college—I now work 20-hour workweeks—my energy seems to be nonexistent. Rarely am I able to make it to school without being tardy, if not missing the class entirely (with yesterday being an exception; I attended a court proceeding). I take naps before heading off to work, and consequently, I arrive late, to varying degrees. I even lost my freelance interpreter gig partly due to dozing off.

This has got to stop.

I envy one of my friends. He seems to be working hard (or harder than I do in most times), and does not seem to show much fatigue even in the face of all-nighters and continual abuse of body with lack of sleep time (which he supposedly makes up for in the weekend by sleeping like a log, or more appropriately, like a man in a coma). And what am I? A man of little discipline and a need for sleep. A lot of sleep.

Do not tell me I have not tried to remedy the situation, though, because I have. I am a caffeine junkie; right now I can feel that the withdrawal symptom—headache from hell—is just around the corner. I tried to work out, which had a mixed reaction (better overall energy, but god help me once adrenaline wears off). Knocking myself out with Benadryl works—for a day. That is after getting rid of the extreme drowsiness that will not leave for hours after I am done sleeping, though.

My mother tells me I should stop napping and go to bed earlier. But am I napping because I do not go to bed earlier, or do I not go to bed earlier because I nap? And napping is what keeps me going throughout the day. So I don’t know.

So, what can I do? How can I wake up earlier, be energized, and keep going until bedtime? And how can I keep going when I have underslept and must not fall asleep but still am stuck with sedentary lifestyle?